I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
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there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
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You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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