What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
