did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
my shit smells like andre
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
