May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
