Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize