What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
