You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize