Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
