I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
