Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Come see our sink grown plant.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
