Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
