I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
