I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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