Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
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every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
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My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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