That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
