I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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