he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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