you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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