Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
PANTIES FOUND
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