it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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