found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
