drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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