I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
