I will die if light touches me.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
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he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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