Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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