She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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