New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
we should paint friendship bongs
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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