I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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