when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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