Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
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