Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
