I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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