I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
