So gin and wine won't be happening again
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Naked. naked and bneed help.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
