are you still at the devil's house?
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
