I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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