oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
