i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
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The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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