Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
