i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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