I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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