with your own penis?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
