this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
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