oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize