yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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