I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I am mentally ready for anal.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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