The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Randomize
