I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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