Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
