He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
