i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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