Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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