how can u be prego again
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
