You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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