Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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