so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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