I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
