can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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