I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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