oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
