:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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