end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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