I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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