I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
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We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
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I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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