i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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